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http://www.michellebenthamcreates.com

Please visit me at REDEEMED...RESTORED...RELEASED: One Woman's Story of Living Free to read more about what God is doing in my life and how He is working those things to set me free. Thanks so much for following, visiting, reading all about it and supporting me as you have done so many times these last few years. If you follow my other blogs, the posts from all three of my blogs are going to be transferred to the new digs for one big blog about our journey to restoration and freedom in Christ.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

In Other Words: Wounded Souls, Broken Identities

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This week's "In Other Words" is being hosted by Esthermay at The Heart of a Pastor's Wife. Please stop by and see what others are saying "In Other Words."
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This Week's Quote:
For most of this century we have wrongly defined soul wounds as psychological disorders and delegated their treatment to trained specialists.
Damaged psyches
aren’t the problem.
The problem is
disconnected souls. ”
by Larry Crabb
From ~ Connecting:
Healing Ourselves
and Our Relationships
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As a woman who lived out of a broken identity most of her life this quote resonated deep within my soul. My life was full of dysfunctional relationships, deep soul wounds and a broken identity. I barely ever looked in the mirror and liked the woman I found there. The tapes I rehearsed over and over again in my head were not only damaging - they were messages that were destined to self-destruct in 30 seconds or less each time I rehearsed them.
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My entire life was built and shaped around "just keepin' the monster down" as Beth Moore often puts it. Hiding who I believed I really was, the vile and awful creature who was capable of the worst, most heinous sins in every way. Oh, I tried to be better... I really did. The change just never took.
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."Used Up"
"problem child"


"harlot"
"unloveable"
"UGLY"
"unworthy"
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"she'll never change"
I was living out of a broken identity.
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What I have learned in the last couple of months is that our men live out of just as broken and just as damaged identities. God showed me how the men in my family, including my husband were driven by a root of pride. Not the puffed up, arrogant sort of pride that demands to be noticed. No... The sort of pride I saw in that ministry session was a pride born of self-protection. What I realized was that we, the women, were so rebellious that we stripped our men of their honor. The pride they held onto was a pride that said, "I must protect my position and my authority or I will not have any honor."
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Broken people, living out of broken identities in a fallen world. A recipe for disaster. Right?
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Add to this a performance and soul driven need to succeed, to be right rather than righteous and a society that says that if you make mistakes you can't be forgiven, you just need to be fixed. What does that leave us with? A MESSED UP LIFE. A MESSED UP PHILOSOPHY OF WHAT CHANGE LOOKS LIKE. A MESSED UP MIND.
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Then throw traditonal secular psychology into the mix and you begin to make excuses for bad behavior, force yourself to change on the outside when nothing really has ever changed on the inside... The cycle is perpetuated not broken. We don't know who we are, and instead are taught to hide who we really believe we are behind a mask of diagnoses, psuedo accomplishments, cute outfits, a good name, the right house, the right car, the right husband, the right church and a medicine cabinet full of escape. A Legacy of Delusion... We hand our broken and frail lives onto the next generation.
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My Question for Modern Phsychology has become: What's the point?
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Larry Crabb answers my question. He identifies the problem as an unattended wound in the human soul. For me it was a series of behaviors that manifested out of a belief system that said I was hopelessly bad and doomed to fail. Raised by an authoritative father and a jealous mother who were both living out of their own broken identities, my juevenile mind and heart received those messages about my cursed identity. It wasn't long before I began to live out self-fulfilling prophecies of brokeness, woundedness and failure.
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The truth is this: My bad behavior did not change until I realized Who my identity rests fully in. As I learned who Christ really is as well as what He really endured on my behalf something inside of me changed. I began to confess the truth of God's Word over my life for my life rather than the lies of the enemy. I take every thought captive to Christ. I allow that truth to transform me by renewing my mind - literally changing it - until I begin to feel differently about who I am and then act out of that new identity.
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In John 8 Christ tells his disciples to abide in His Word and if they abide in His Word, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32)We were born to live free, not bound by chains and identities based on lies and a fallen existence. I don't know about you - but that, to me, feels like redemption.
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At my church home, Gateway Church, there is a ministry devoted to helping people discover who God has created them to be and to walk fully in that calling. This ministry is called "Freedom Ministry." Freedom Ministry is not about what you stop doing. It's not about what you get free or healed from. Instead, Freedom Ministry is about discovering who God created you to be and allowing Him to free us to live in that identity.
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The heart of Freedom Ministry is Jesus' own life verse:
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17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him.
Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." [Isaiah 61:1-2]
20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him,
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Luke 4:17-20 (New International Version)
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Jesus ~ The King Who Sets Us Free!
That's My King!



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Please Visit Loni at Writing Canvas to find out more about this challenging and insight-filled Meme.

11 comments:

Denise said...

Amen, beautifully said.

luvmy4sons said...

I have read more than one of Larry Crab's books...I am so glad that there are godly people out there applying bibical truth to this problem of wounded souls. Jesus alone has been the best healer of my soul but He has used people like Larry Crab and others to help me!

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

What amazing truths you've shared from you heart my friend.

I so love the "Freedom Ministry in Jesus" you've shared. We have so much freedom in knowing that Jesus...has SET UP FREE..and we as believers need to LIVE in that truth...day by day...step by step as we travel the road he has placed before us.

Blessings to you today.....

Miriam Pauline said...

Michelle,
What an amazing and inspiring post. If we could all find the freedom that God wishes us to have what a dramatic difference our churches and our world would see. Bless you for sharing.

Vintage Whimsy Studio said...

Good morning! Thank you for sharing so honestly from your heart. Unless we are willing to be honest, and tell the truth about our own experiences, all of our pain is lost in the wide world of pretense. Your honesty, my friend, has been a blessing to many today. For so many years I was in a world that was very uncomfortable with this kind of truth-telling by Christians. I hope that we have emerged from behind that veil of secrecy, because the silence only served to keep us all in bondage. Praise God that we can seek freedom through honesty and open dialogue, and not be afraid of criticism for sharing even the difficult things in our lives and along our journey to wholeness. Bless you today! Nina

Karen said...

"A unattended wound" oh how true that is. Thanks so much for opening up and sharing today. I saw myself in things you said. Praise the Lord we have Him to see us through this difficult journey.

Laurie Ann said...

I think this book would be a great read. I would love to know more about where he's coming from on this quote.

I had no idea you endured so much in your life. I'm glad you've been able to have that sense of spiritual connection to God and take every thought captive to Him. It's awesome when we are spiritually hurting to let the Great Physician heal our hurts. We can't rely on a doctor to heal soul wounds any more than we can rely on a pastor to do brain surgery. Awesome post, Michelle.

Sharlyn Guthrie said...

Your approach to this quote is excellent. I love the "freedom to be all that Christ has designed us to be" angle! I also appreciate what you said about women stripping men of their honor. It takes godly wisdom to see that.

Esthermay Bentley-Goossen said...

As you start this post, you go back to Genesis 3 -- so beautifully illustrating the fall of man and woman. Pride – desire – oK this could be a whole theological discussion here. . . .
Point is – the problem is most definitely spiritual – it began with Biblical history and only Biblical truth can redeem it!! AMEN?

“. . . .then,” as you write, “throw in traditional secular psychology. . .”
Omigosh!!!!

Like the answer lies there????
good grief...
If you don’t understand the root – how can you understand the solution? WHAT’S the POINT? Exactly.

You should add Larry Crabb's book to your "want list" because he addresses so clearly what you're onto here!

There is a time and place for professional counseling. But the truth is this:
WAY too many people are too quick to jump to the conclusion that professional counseling is the be-all, end-all solution.
It's not.

Some studies (endorsed -- of course -- by Christian therapists and disputed -- of course -- by secular therapists) show that the number of individuals/couples really in need of professional counseling goes down significantly once the spiritual issues are dealt with!

I LOVE your real-life application of this quote.

Susan said...

Another GREAT post Michelle!!

God is truly using you BIG time to minister to others.

Thank you for faithfully proclaiming FREEDOM to so many!!!

Love you girlfriend♥

(sorry I can't join you tomorrow, but I'll be reading what you write!)

Patricia said...

Thank you for sharing how God has and is working in your life. Truly it is amazing His mercy to us.