Tuesday's In Other Words: No Regrets, Just Gratitude

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“And I don’t regret the rain,
And the nights I felt the pain,
And the tears I had to cry some
of those times along the way.
Every road I had to take,
Every time my heart would break -
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you…”

As sung by Lila McCann,
“To Get Me To You” [Hope Floats Soundtrack]

As Thanksgiving approaches this year, the words to this song resound in my head in so many ways. I had this song played at our wedding ten years ago because I had lived such a rough existence prior to meeting the "love of my life," Scott. He swept in like a knight on a white horse and brought such good things to my life and the lives of my children. But, most of all, he stood by me through thick and thin, loved me unconditionally and overlooked a sordid and ugly past in favor of a future with me. He has willingly taken on the responsibility of my three children and brought to my life the beauty of his own. I was so thankful to be marrying a man like him, and I knew God had brought us together for a reason. I thank God for him everyday.

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Scott's love made my past worth the journey.

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WHY?

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Because I valued it more, and I appreciate him more. He made me want to be a better person and our marriage and his lack of faith drove this family straight into the arms of God. So, I don't regret the rain or the pain or the tears or any of the umpteen million things that happened that made me feel I was "a used up woman with three kids." A broken down mess, damaged goods. Because my story mirrors the redemption of Christ and the adulterous woman. I can love much, because the love I have received has forgiven much and I can tell people who are living where I had lived that there is hope, and future and promise in God's plan for them --- I am living proof.

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Would I do it differently - maybe, maybe not. I would have done what I knew to do at the time. Now that I know better I can walk forward and leave the past where it belongs, under the blood of Christ, forgiven on the cross where I have confessed my sins to Him, and as far as the east is from the west - remembered no more.

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Since Justin's death I have learned a new lesson, that life is way too short to live in regret... So I move forward by choice. Living everyday fully, with God and my family and loving every minute of this life He has given me. And, today I can forgive others and remember their sins against me no more... a life lived with NO REGRETS.

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Thank You Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins, for redeeming a wretched sinner such as I. Thank You even more for redeeming my past, my tears, my pain and my shame and mending them into a beautiful tapestry that tells the story of Your beautiful grace. I cannot fathom it, and I cannot often see what you see in me, but I am grateful for the journey, the love and the promise you have bestowed upon all who call upon Your name. You are a good God and I for one am thankful you are my God and Your love sees me through. It is in Your sweet name I pray, Amen.

Frazzled...

Okay... So have you ever had so much happening at once you had to check and see if you weren't going in two different directions. If you subtract the baby and add two teenage girls and you pretty much have my life ...


As I watched the early reports on Hurricane Ike I wondered if we would get the call to house evacuees over the week after the hurricane made landfall. However, last Tuesday our family got a call of a different kind. On Wednesday my husband headed down south to help with Hurricane recovery work. Our part is keeping the home fires burning and sacrificing in the area of our budget so that my husband can help restore utilities in the Hurricane ravaged towns.

Granted - my husband gets paid for what he is doing by way of Hurricane recovery. Yet, he is working grueling hours in very poor conditions and we are going to end up spending more than he gets reimbursed for perdium while he is there. I guess it is a good thing my husband's job is not our source. God has a plan and he is faithful. I pray for my husband's spiritual condition while he is away - the long hours and dismal conditions are sure to take their toll at some point. So I ask for prayer for him in so many ways.

He works for a local telephone company and told me that there is enough work there to keep everyone busy (on the telephone side) for about six months. Towns like Baytown, Hitchcock and other Galveston Bay front towns are truly devastated - but are not being talked about much on the news. I stood in line behind a woman who is staying in this area since the hurricane has flooded her house and has her stranded here in town. She said that she needs FEMA help to get a hotel but has not gotten any assistance yet.

We are faced with it everywhere we turn. Our church sent out an email this weekend stating that our church will be a staging facility working with a church in the Hurricane affected area sending volunteers down for four day rotations to gut houses and make it possible for them to be repaired quickly without the threat of mold setting in on the studs and foundation.

I guess, the most troubling thing for me is to think that many people are still missing. My husband reported on Friday that the town they were working in was pretty much wiped out. He saw a couple of D/FW metro area firetrucks pulling up with trailers. They unloaded two "gator" first aid carts with four stretchers each and were accompanied by a police officer with an assault rifle and a can of spray paint. My husband's statment on the scene was bone-chilling for me, "They are about to go in and search for bodies from house to house."

He said - IT IS REALLY BAD. My heart breaks and I asked him how he is dealing with being in a place where he is surrounded by death. He said, "I have a job to do. I try not to think about it too much."

So... I'm praying over these first hand reports, praying for the funds to support two households until my husband's perdium catches up with us in a couple of weeks and praying for protection for everyone who is going down to work and all of those who are hurting over the loss of their home or the loss of their family and friends. May God be merciful and bless them all. Bless them all.

So... I have been a little off since Thursday afternoon. I will get the Names of God caught up Wednesday and post on IOW a week from Tuesday. I am adjusting to my new "single mom" status and realizing how blessed I am to have a husband who helps me so much when he is home.

Mandy Thompson is writing about everyday doers over at her blog. What do these types of reports prompt you to do?

Love to you all and many blessings.

Welcome to the 21st Century...

STOP! Do Not Read any further if you are not interested in Toes, Technology and other various happenings in my life these last few weeks... If you are remotely curious about what Toes and Technology have to do with one another... then you have been WARNED proceed WITH EXTREME CAUTION!

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Okay, ya'll - this is going to sound lame, but I am totally excited about IT!

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I got an MP3 player. Admittedly it is not the fabulously Applish I-Pod, nor is it the trendier Microsoftier Zune... It is a run of the mill, credit card thin 2 GB Samsung MP3 player that I bought after carefully perusing those glass windows under the display case at Wal-Mart. But, I'll get to that in just a minute or so... Right now, I want to tell you about my man. This story will sound like a complaint - but you will get it!

That's my man in the middle with our two sons, Travis (l) and Justin (r)

You see, we had to move at Christmas last year. Like two week's after Thanksgiving and a couple of weeks before Christmas - we found out the week of Thanksgiving the house we were leasing lapsed into foreclosure and had to scramble to find a home and move on short notice. It was wet, cold and frustrating to say the very, very least! My husband was a champ and we got it done in a very orderly and amazing fashion thanks to our families and especially his willingness to fly with me in this crazy thing we call our life... Oh, and did I mention that our car (only vehicle) was also in the shop - getting an engine overhaul to the tune of $1,500. Now, you may be asking what all of this has to do with an MP3 player - but I'm getting there - I promise.

We barely had time to get ourselves unpacked and did no Christmas shopping before Christmas because of the move. We were a bit miserable actually. Through the generosity of a KLTY Christmas Wish giver - our family had a wonderful Christmas... That - five years ago - would have been hard to admit, but today I have seen God move in so many ways that I am just grateful that giving my kids a Christmas is one of them. It blessed us and our hearts to have someone meet us, and have compassion on us.

A friend of my husband's had an extra, brand new MP3 player lying around (Thank You, Steve). And when I mentioned that I was hoping to get my fella' an inexpensive one for Christmas he handed it right on over to me without any hesitation. I have been humbled and blessed by Steve on many occasions, and his generosity has blessed us so many times --- that is another story for another day... Suffice it to say God has blessed us in Steve and his friendship.

So on Christmas, my husband got his Christmas wish. We later talked of getting one for me to use when I go to the Rec Center to work out. I figured it would be better with some awesome praise music just humming in my ears. And so I have waited.

My birthday came and went and not so much as a card came my way - this to me is no surprise. Unless I give my husband the cash in his hand (exact amount, mind you) and a specific item to purchase me as a gift - I don't get one. I asked for Beth's Stepping UP Audio CDs for Christmas and got them because I gave my daughter $40 and a mission for him. I don't know why it is this way, but it is. After 10 years it is not going to change much and so... I have accepted it, sort of.

On my birthday this year, just a few weeks ago, my parents and his parents held my gift until our big Graduation party a couple of days after my birthday. But, on my birthday my friend called and reqested the honor of my presence for a special dinner out with her. My girls both wished me sweetly happy birthday and two week's ago my baby girl made up for her inability to give me a gift by treating me to a pedicure. The elder girl often treats me to lunch or some other novel opporunity - as she did that day. It is kind of sweet how they dote on me. My husband wished me happy birthday as I dropped him off to work and returned home to his usual computer games and sports on television Thursday night. I suppose that I am happy enough that they do not forget all together... and I am, but somehow the overlooking of my birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, and Mother's Day every year by my dear husband leaves me upset and aching. I try to prepare but to no avail.

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Taylor and I after the Pedicure two weeks ago...

Feet....

And Faces! Do we look pampered?

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Well this year, Mary planned to take me to dinner and my internet sisters over at the Lifeway Forums also managed to brighten my day with sweet poetry, songs and pictures with CAKE! It was really fabulous. I was viewing my "gifts" while my husband kicked off his shoes in the middle of the living room floor. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "If these ladies whom I have never met take the time to remember my birthday - why can't you?"

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He looked like a scolded two year old and apologized. I told him that I was sorry for having the expectation and being upset when I felt "let down." I agreed not to have expectations anymore... and I let it go.

The other night we somehow landed on the subject of MP3 players and I reminded my husband I was still awaiting the arrival of my own. He laughed.

Tonight we were talking at dinner about something and he suggested we go and look for an MP3 player. I was all about that. He set my limit at $50. I was LIKE WOO HOO! At the store we looked at all of them in the case and I was quite disappointed because I was sure I would destroy anything the size of an I-Pod Shuffle. The only MP3s for less than $50 in the glass display case were 1 GB, reasonable storage and about 1 - 2 inches in length and width. I was somewhat let down.

Then I spotted some "red tag" items in the glass enclosed storage spaces below the display. I started examining them and realized they did indeed have one of adequate size and memory - for $59.99. The reason I could get this one was because there was a particular package marked with a "yellow" sticker - it read, "DISPLAY, take 20% off this price at the register." This sticker was just above the "red tag" marked $59.00 with an original price marked of $99.98. I was pretty excited. They opened the package and I looked at the little sliver of a thing. It looks like this:

Another Picture of My TOTALLY Rockin' Red MP3 Player! (Just Cuz I Can)

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I said, "SOLD." Pulled out the old plastic money card and the man rang me in at $50.88 with tax. Yippee! Yippee! I came home and finished downloading the rest of my worship CDs onto my computer including a wonderful CD that Susan sent me from Bethel Chapel. I uploaded a whole mess of songs and still have more room - but no more songs... :o( - but only for a minute because then I realized I can download the one year Bible readings I hear Tom Dooley do on the radio and then I can fill in any space that might be left over with my favorite Bible teachers! WOO HOO! Can You SAY WOO HOO!
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BTW, I had to take a break in the middle of this post to dye a red (yes, "candy apple" not the unnatural, natural hair color "red") streak in my daughters dark blonde hair. She looks like an Amish "My Little Pony" right now with the dying cap and the foil with the red streaked hair on top of her head. My life is a riot, it is just killing me. Maybe I'll post a picture of the hair art after I get it washed out.

Speaking of Hair Dye! Follow me down this rabbit trail... A few weeks ago I commented about my recent "hair dying" escapades over at the LPM blog. Yes, I actually did dye my hair dark, dark brown and then try highlighting only to get classic brassy orange highlights in a random pattern atop my head. So the next morning, after a midnight trip to Albertson's for another highlighting kit, I tried again only to get lighter more random brassy orange streaks. So that afternoon after a trip to Wal-Greens for a blonde hair dye I set about trying to correct my fiasco. So yes, you did count that as four times in about 36 hours that I applied some sort of color treatment to my hair - Can You SAY LUCKY TO HAVE HAIR? I have ultra conditioned it sense I started this little journey about a month ago. Well, the night before we went to my parents for the Fourth of July - I did it again! Thank the Lord there is no "OOPS" attached. This is my lovely golden blonde hair with it's dark chocolatey undertones. End of Rabbit Trail!...

Okay, so I just arrived with my laptop (in bag), MP3 player and my cell phone ... and a little hair color... into the 21st century - I'm only what a couple of years late really! San Antonio Here I Come! I just can't stand myself right now.

P. S. - My husband totally redeemed himself for the no birthday gift issue. I'm happy as a lark!
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Me, totally please with the events of today!

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And only in the 21st century would it be possible to upload the pictures from my digital camera of my MP3 player, my hair color, my toes and other random pleasantries onto my laptop and then upload those to my blog on the Internet so that all the world would know the kind of cooky things I do with my time and get excited about in real life... Welcome to the 21st century!

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BONUS: And the only thing Toes and Technology have to do with one another as far as I can tell is that I included them in this POST!