God's Grace [PERIOD]

As I've written here, these last few weeks have been extremely painful and difficult for me. However, God has been so good in this time of anguished reality. Yesterday, I went to a group leader's meeting for my Bereaved Mothers group at church while my hubs attended the 9:00 AM worship service. The meeting was informative and refreshing.

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The last 45 minutes were given to the Executive Pastor of "Freedom Ministry" which is the department my group is classified under. Pastor Bob is one of my favorite teachers. He uses subtle humor, relational stories, he processes and thinks deep bringing relative worldly realities into the light by exposing the truth behind them and then he goes into exegetics a bit to firm up the revelation.

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He first thanked each of us for serving in ministry and partnering to help bring God's freedom to the lives of others through our experiences. Then he laid out the foundation of Freedom ministry for us: He doesn't just want us to be about the business of giving good advice, He wants us to bring Good News - and if the good advice points people to the Good News then we are all good.

He concluded our time together by talking about the will. That the world tells us to make better choices, try harder and do more to be better and more righteous - which, BTW, is a Pharisee attitude - (See Colossians 2:18-23). He said, "God's grace is not God winking at sin or giving us a license to sin." He went on to say that to fully embrace our identity in Christ and realize the weight of righteousness does not rest on us, but on God through the cross and resurrection of Christ and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit then we can realize that WE CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GOD'S GRACE.

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Did you get that... ?

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Let me say it again. WE CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GOD'S GRACE. What He offers is unmerited, unconditional favor - it is FAVOR, Ya'll. Favor we do not deserve, earn or receive as a reward - it is simply God's Love for us wrapped up in His favor shining upon us.

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As Pastor Bob was teaching on this a particular issue began to resonate and rise to the surface.

The issue? The statement I made to my daughter the day this entire mess began to unravel. "I must be gracious to my husband as the Lord has been gracious to me."

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This last week fear and disappointment threatened to rob me of my desire to serve my husband and bring healing to our relationship by meeting his needs. I even said to him, "When do I get to be the one who was violated? When do I get to be the one who is hurt? Why do you take and take and take but never give anything back?"

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You see, in my head I can process that my role is to be the covenant redeemer and to seek restoration in spite of what my husband's response is and not because of it. But in my heart, the wound is deep and old and it has been cut many times. My fear is that my husband will receive all I have to offer and I will be left empty and without return... I fear he will take advantage of the grace I have found myself offering him and not learn the lesson of his mistake.

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In Other Words, I've begun to think that my response to his offense is enabling him to minimize the consequences. CO-DEPENDENT THINKING AND CO-DEPENDENT BEHAVIOR. That says that my desire to please God in my actions depends and is influenced by my husband's response.

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So as Pastor Bob is saying, "You cannot take advantage of God's grace for you...."

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I'm suddenly realizing that the grace I am offering my husband is not grace based on my feelings or my wounds or even how he responds to what I am doing in this circumstance... But, instead - it is grace offered based on Grace received. I am merely being an extension of God's love and grace to my husband in this time of sorting, mending and reconciling.

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I shared with the group, "Since that is true, that means if I offer the same grace to others who hurt me that God has given to me... Then, they cannot take advantage of my grace either."

He had me repeat that again, and then said he was going to write it down. He summed up what I said, "You mean you are not going to live in a co-dependent relationship."

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Yes, absolutely! Talk about truth that will set you free!

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Love ya'll - Hope this blesses your socks off as it did mine. To realize that my forgiving my husband for his hurtful behavior toward me as a demonstration of God's grace and love at work in my life is not giving him license to hurt me again, but instead it is giving him the unconditional favor and opportunity to live in and experience the grace of God at work through me. Now that is the hands and feet of Jesus in action and the work of the Holy Spirit taking down my walls and strongholds.

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GLORY! Excuse me, I need to go put my face to the ground and humbly thank my God for freedom and revelation on a beautiful Sunday morning in January! Be Free... God's Grace [PERIOD] that's all I need.